Don't Let Your Kids Kill You by Charles Rubin

Author:Charles Rubin [RUBIN, CHARLES]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780967979076
Publisher: New Century Publishers
Published: 2011-09-05T04:00:00+00:00

How to know when to make the split

To say “you’ll know” when to sever physical ties with an addict is taking for granted that you, as a parent, will see past the emotional ties that bind you.

Here’s a list of possible reasons to make arrangements for your addict to live apart from you. You don’t have to check them all off to know.

The addict is violent. This is the number one reason for calling a halt to your addict’s living with you. If you fear for your safety or that of other family members—or worse, if there’s been actual physical abuse—you are only inviting more of the same by keeping the addict under your roof.

Stress. Because of your addict’s behavior and the stress coming from it, you’re spending more time at the doctor’s office. You’ve increased the dosage of your anti-depression medicine. You’re prone to fatigue and headaches like never before. You’re feeling suicidal much of the time.

Your property is destroyed. Your addict has destroyed your property either while in or while out of a drugged state. Smashing dishes against a wall, driving a fist through a wall ¡from a consensus of parents, this seems to be a favorite), kicking doors in (another favorite) are some examples. Worst-case scenarios extend from flooding the house by leaving the taps on to burning the house down.

Your property is stolen. To finance the purchase of drugs and alcohol, an addict looks in the obvious place for quick cash: your home. If actual cash isn’t available, perhaps your checkbook or credit cards will be. Don’t rely on banks not to cash forged checks, they do it all the time. And beware of leaving around valuable antiques, heirlooms, or even appliances—anything that can be carted off and hocked. As for stocks and money markets, addicts can be extraordinarily ingenious and knowledgeable when it comes to cashing them in. Chances are you won’t even know they’ve been cashed in for months to come. There have been many cases like these. Some parents have even discovered that their life savings have been converted into fine, white powder.

The addict as a bad influence. Addicts love stoned company and often prey on their younger brothers and sisters. Recruitment begins with a sampling of a drug and can lead to full-fledged addiction and a lifetime journey on the wrong track for the addict’s siblings.

You can’t take the addict’s lies. Addicts are generally incapable of telling the truth. Perhaps you believed that your addict was going to school every day, but then you found out from the school’s administrative offices that he or she hasn’t been there in a month. Addicts think nothing of lying to their parents (and to anyone else, for that matter). They do it so convincingly that parents instantly forget all the other lies they’ve been told. “Do you promise me that you will never take drugs again?” a parent might ask the addict. “Of course,” the addict will state with a look of utmost sincerity: “What do you think I am, a loser? I’ve been off that stuff for six months.

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